Saturday, February 16, 2008

depression...

i have been feeling down since school start. i know there are many people out there who love me. but they are either too far away or too busy for me to reach. nobody can accompany me everyday. i have to work things out myself anyway. i am getting less patient nowadays. it's not like i have any place to go. i am alone.

the extent of my depression today:
walking seems like a chore. i drag my feet where ever i go.
every time after i part with my friends and board the bus, i will feel sad and feel like crying.
i feel like there is no where i can go. i am not used to spend time alone anymore. i can only go home and sleep my sadness and loneliness away.

i feel maybe soon, i will feel breathing seems like a chore too. then maybe some time after that, i will feel looking at this world seems like a chore as well. maybe one day i will just lie down on my bed, stop breathing and close my eyes. i wont die. i will still be alive.

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